07 Jan 2014

How I created Elope Asheville

I received an email recently asking how I created Elope Asheville and if I could help someone get their own elopement business off the ground.

First, the backstory:

My wife and I were engaged: I popped the question over a picnic on a blanket next to the French Broad River on the Biltmore Estate – a place where we had our very first date.  Our first date wasn’t over a picnic mind you – I’m good, but I’m not that good.  She said yes, of course, and so we packed up the picnic and went to an actual restaurant to have a proper meal and to call everyone we knew.

How exciting!  Now we needed to plan our wedding!

It was to be pretty simple: We literally wanted to have a picnic in a park, grill some burgers, hot dogs, and ribs, have a table laid out with all of the fixins, and make it more of a party and celebration for everyone involved, not just us.  We are both close to our families, and we knew what it was like going to large, formal wedding events: stuffy, uncomfortable, and, let’s face it, boring for most involved.  We wanted a new concept, a new goal: everyone was to have fun and, at the end of the day, say the day was a good day.

After discussing further, we decided that something a little more on the traditional side should be in order because Heather is her father’s only child, and she didn’t want him to miss out on the dream of walking her down the aisle – something I now understand with the birth of my twin girls.

We had a very strict budget of, let’s just say, not a lot of money.  The more we looked into things, the more we realized this was not going to be an easy task.  Some of the things we experienced:

• We constantly had meetings with vendors, facility owners, photographers, etc..  It seemed every other day, we had to meet someone over coffee, tell them our story, hear their pitch, and then uncomfortably discuss money.  Ugh.
• We very quickly realized why the average wedding costs more than $25,000.  Weddings aren’t cheap.
• Our conversations turned from our excitement to share the future together to the stress of planning the wedding.  We had nightmares of the wedding going bad.  Our apartment became the depot of every blue and brown wedding decoration in the tri-state area .

There had to be a better way, we thought.  But there wasn’t: It was either do all of this, or go to the courthouse.

It was then that I decided to use my theological background, coupled with my English degree and my previous experience as a broadcaster, to create a business to fill the need of having a beautiful, yet easy and stress-free wedding day that won’t break the bank.

A good friend of mine, Dr. Jonathan Barlow, a theologian from St. Louis University, wrote this recently about creating a product, and it follows exactly what I aimed for in creating Elope Asheville:

Don’t be lazy. Constantly refine the experience of using it until it feels intuitive and polished. Make sure that everything it does, it does well. This means it will have few features at first. Test it thoroughly. Try it out with unlikely users. Don’t be ashamed if it feels simple. Simple is very hard to get right. Make it easy to do something right and hard to do something wrong. Whimsy is okay, but mystery should be a rare feature. Again, don’t be lazy- the feature needs to be right, even if it makes the creation harder. Make sure it works great every day until release. Try it when you’re sleepy, well rested, hungry, bored- your users will experience the creation in all those settings. Make sure the most important feature is the most obvious and accessible. Make sure it is beautiful- beautiful things, all other attributes being equal, are more usable and will be used. The user is always right- for most products, their expertise is not open to your judgment: make them look good and feel good. 

Because we didn’t have the means or desire to take out a huge loan to fund the startup of my company, I bootstrapped it.  I created my business plan and took note of everything I needed, I then inventoried everything I had, and I somehow made the two lists come together to one.  I want to go through this list to show how what I created benefits my couples:

• Don’t be lazy. Constantly refine the experience of using it until it feels intuitive and polished.  Everywhere I turned, at first, made me question if this would work.  I needed certain things I didn’t have, that only professionals could provide.  It was hard selling my concept to vendors who were used to getting thousands for what I wanted for a fraction of that.  After a lot of pitching, I found a team of people whom I could trust and could give me a consistent flawless product.  I could shoot them a quick email, or give them a quick call, and I knew on the wedding day, everything would come together.
• Make sure that everything it does, it does well.  My couples – who I work for – don’t have to worry about anything.  It’s all done for them.  They show up, and everything is ready: their ceremony is written, their flowers are in a vase and smell lovely, their wedding cake is set up and ready to cut, and their wedding photographer is on-scene and is ready to shoot.  It works flawlessly.  Sure, there may be some nervous jitters about actually getting married – that’s quite normal.  You can only be that nervous when you are thinking about getting married and not worrying if everything is done.
• Don’t be ashamed if it feels simple. Simple is very hard to get right.  Four years in to Elope Asheville, and I still get very nervous leading up to a wedding.  Did I get everything?  Will the cake and flowers be ready? Did the couple have any special requests that somehow got lost?  Am I late?  Did I miss the day completely?!?  I think this literally every wedding day.  I completely psyche myself out.  I then remember that it’s me who is feeling these, and not my couples.  I want them to have the most stress-free, simple wedding day.  It’s taken four years to get to where I’m not completely freaked out: my wife will tell you I was a snappy, grumpy beast at first because I was so stressed.  Simple is very difficult to get right.
• Make it easy to do something right and hard to do something wrong. From the behind-the-scenes organizational point of view, I am still working on my “system.”  This many years in, and I am still trying to figure out the optimal, most efficient way to get all of my services all in line.  However, from a couple’s point of view, there’s one rule: Show up on time with your marriage license.  That’s it.  Four years, and not a single couple has gotten it wrong.
• The feature needs to be right, even if it makes the creation harder. I’ve changed a few vendors over the years.  Not that their product or offering was bad.  It just wasn’t right.  It didn’t seem a perfect fit for a particular reason I honestly couldn’t express.  Starting over to get a new one wasn’t fun.  I had to make the same hard sell, door-to-door, until I got it right.  But I’m always glad I did, because if it’s right to me, I can say with confidence it will be right with my couples.
• Make sure the most important feature is the most obvious and accessible.  My most obvious feature: to get you married.  This year, I started coming to you – to your rental cabin, your bed-and-breakfast, or your back yard.  It was yet another way to make your wedding day easy.  I’ve even done wedding ceremonies literally on the side of the street (the couple got witnesses from the check-out lane at CVS Pharmacy! Everyone had a blast!).  And, yes, if you want a picnic in a park with burgers and ribs, I’ll do that too.  Heck… I’ll even get the ribs cooking for you!
• Make them look good and feel good. I can honestly say the best feature I offer is my photographer, Amanda Berk.  She really does an outstanding job, and she makes all of my couples look phenomenal.  I honestly don’t think I would have lasted this long without her.  She does great work, she and I work well together, and we just make a great team.  She even, somehow, makes me look good (on occasion).  I could write a whole blog about her, but for now: even if you don’t use my photographer, you will feel amazing on your wedding day.  Why?  IT’S YOUR WEDDING DAY!  And you didn’t have to worry about a thing!  And you didn’t have to go into debt to pay for it!  How great is that?!

So, that’s the why and the how I created Elope Asheville.  I’m still learning and figuring things out.  I hope to never be nervous before a wedding – that would mean I’m getting complacent.  I always want to be challenged.  I always want to triple check to make sure I have everything just right.

I feel like I live the charmed life.  I have a beautiful wife, two gorgeous baby girls, and I get to do a job that I thoroughly enjoy while meeting couples on the happiest day of their lives.  Can it get any better?